head detective: now accepting questions

Thanks for the well-wishes, stranger! However, the “chest bush” babies will probably...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 17:44:54 -0400

Thanks for the well-wishes, stranger! However, the “chest bush” babies will probably come along later down the line. It’ll be way more fun to enjoy my new husband for a while before having to share him with anyone else. ;)

And as much as I…dislike…how this is stated, I too would like to wait before considering reproduction.

Nice try citizen, but I was just serving justice where the law couldn’t step. Spencer and...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 21:54:35 -0400

Nice try citizen, but I was just serving justice where the law couldn’t step. Spencer and Spencer are just acquaintances, if even that.

Well, stranger, he doesn’t let me do too much caring. He’s a “big strong...

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 23:44:40 -0400

Well, stranger, he doesn’t let me do too much caring. He’s a “big strong man”, after all. ;) However, I do help him change his bandages and I cook for him and do my best to help him get from point A to point B. I’m making sure he’s not working too hard, but Carlton is a quick healer, so he was back on the job relatively soon after that whole debacle.

I never met the guy. Apparently he was an illegal smuggler or whatever, so I don’t think very...

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 22:44:44 -0400

I never met the guy. Apparently he was an illegal smuggler or whatever, so I don’t think very highly of him.

That’s for us to know and you to find out.

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 18:03:50 -0500

That’s for us to know and you to find out.

I love going to the theater! Wicked is an excellent one, for sure. One of my personal favorites...

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 16:25:49 -0500

I love going to the theater! Wicked is an excellent one, for sure. One of my personal favorites is Damn Yankees. I love the symbolism, and “Near to You” makes my heart swell every time. Carlton likes coming to the theater with me too, whether he’ll admit it or not.

Sure.

As God is my witness, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 00:38:52 -0500

As God is my witness, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.

Had to Google him. I think that sums up what I know/how I feel about this Barrowman character...

Tue, 08 Jan 2013 06:40:16 -0500

Had to Google him. I think that sums up what I know/how I feel about this Barrowman character nicely. Marlowe’s far more in touch with what’s popular with the youths than I am, however, so you might want to ask her.

I’ve dabbled a bit in Doctor Who, so really the only role I’m familiar with as far as Mr. Barrowman goes is Captain Jack Harkness. And I have to say, he seems to be quite the charmer both onscreen and off. ;)

Is this a threat?

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:53:35 -0500

Is this a threat?

Because you asked, no.

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 21:42:00 -0500

Because you asked, no.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I had a few other ideas. Better ideas, I think. :)

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 15:35:00 -0500

Thanks for the suggestion, but I had a few other ideas. Better ideas, I think. :)

I wasn’t even aware that was a holiday, so at least I’ll be prepared next year. Sounds...

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 20:32:00 -0500

I wasn’t even aware that was a holiday, so at least I’ll be prepared next year. Sounds like my kind of holiday, though.

Nothing orange, that’s for sure. Is it really that big of a deal?

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 13:42:19 -0500

Nothing orange, that’s for sure. Is it really that big of a deal?

I will always love It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s such a sweet story and I’m always...

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 21:32:11 -0500

I will always love It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s such a sweet story and I’m always in tears by the end. “Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls!”

I have to agree with Marlowe, though I don’t get quite as emotional as she does.

That’s because you’re a grumpy Mr. Potter.

Golly. Well, according to myself and not Marlowe, it was awful. Lassiter Thanksgivings are...

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 18:05:00 -0500

Golly.

Well, according to myself and not Marlowe, it was awful. Lassiter Thanksgivings are notorious for arguments and fights of World War caliber, and usually a family member leaves with some kind of injury.

This was no different.

My mother wasn’t pleasant since I hadn’t introduced her to Marlowe before (and for good reason, mind you) and Althea didn’t show, although there wasn’t a reason given. Criticism flew like goddamn gnats. Lauren and her dog were the only reasons I held onto sanity that whole night, and warning Marlowe about my various awful aunts and uncles just made me realize how glad I am that I’m my own adult now.

(Don’t tell Marlowe, though - she didn’t hear half of what my mother said, and my heavily intoxicated uncle would’ve come on to her if I hadn’t nearly crushed his foot with a well-placed stomp. I’ll tell her eventually.)

At least someone appreciates my work, even if you are across the Atlantic.

Sat, 08 Dec 2012 13:50:44 -0500

At least someone appreciates my work, even if you are across the Atlantic.

I think I know what sort of response you’re trying to illicit from me, so I’ll go ahead...

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 15:57:08 -0500

I think I know what sort of response you’re trying to illicit from me, so I’ll go ahead and give it to you: At least someone’s out there taking them down.

You really expect me to pick just one thing? She doesn’t mind waking up at an unhealthy hour...

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 06:38:11 -0500

You really expect me to pick just one thing?

She doesn’t mind waking up at an unhealthy hour of the morning, nor does she mind staying up equally as late. She sings in the shower when she thinks I can’t hear her. She knows just when to change the channel, and she makes one hell of an omelet, let me tell you. She leaves me notes in the mornings and evenings, and we talk constantly, from dawn till dusk, but I still just can’t get enough of her. She’s left-handed. She once broke my nose and apologized profusely, but I’ve never been angry about it.

But my favorite thing just has to be how strong she’s been. I don’t think I could stay as sane as she did if my sibling and I were arrested, and especially not if I spent that amount of time in jail. And she consistently proves to be just as strong as ever in domestic life, too (I’ve never had such a war over the blanket at night), so I think I’ll have to settle with that. She’s one tough cookie.

Well, once I stop blushing, I’ll tell you that my favorite things about Carlton are the little things he does for me every day. He asks me how I’m feeling no matter how hellish his day was, and he massages my shoulders when I’m tense (and I return the favor). He knows when something is bothering me and he doesn’t hesitate to ask. He is a great listener, even if he doesn’t always give the best advice (tying the neighbor kid to a post behind the building is not the way to problem solve). Like he said, we talk and talk and talk until we’re out of breath but never out of things to say. He keeps me warm at night, with or without the covers. ;) He’s allergic to mint, and he has a tiny scar on the bridge of his nose that may or may not be my fault.

But the most amazing thing about Carlton is the size of his heart underneath all that sternum bush. He has the most reliable moral compass and his loyalty is unfaltering. He makes me feel safe and protected, and I know that he loves me. I know he loves me, even if he doesn’t always tell me. Carlton shows rather than tells, and most of the time, that means more than any words could ever say.

I’m thankful that Adrian is safe and getting the care he needs, even if that’s in...

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 18:44:08 -0500

I’m thankful that Adrian is safe and getting the care he needs, even if that’s in prison. I’m also so grateful every day that Carlton is in my life. I could never tell him that enough times to make it mean what I want it to. I hope you are thankful for everything that’s going well in your life, stranger, and that you are having a wonderful holiday!

If you want a sarcastic answer: I’m thankful that the stupid questions on this blog have stopped, and that I haven’t been killed on the job yet. If you want a serious answer: I’m thankful that Marlowe’s in my life, and also that I haven’t been killed on the job yet.

Happy Thanksgiving, citizens.

It’s the one time a year that more than three Lassiters gather in one place, so I’m...

Tue, 13 Nov 2012 15:00:44 -0500

It’s the one time a year that more than three Lassiters gather in one place, so I’m being forced to drive up to Ojai for that. One thing’s for sure: Bringing Marlowe to the family dinner will be…very interesting.

I’m sort of excited to meet his family, even though he tells me not to get my hopes up. I’ve got an open mind about it. However, if it doesn’t pan out this year, next year we’ll have our own little Thanksgiving in the condo, and we’ll be sure to invite you and Shawn, Juliet!

Trust me Marlowe, it’s probably not going to pan out this year. We’ll catch you next year, O’Hara.

You just want both the drumsticks for yourself, grouchy bear.